What do I do now?

Some weeks ago my loving husband had taken all he could bare. I guess that is how you can put it. He wasn't sleeping and he was getting angry. I have seen my husband upset before, don't get me wrong. But I had never seen him like this. He started making comments like "Well I'd be better off dead" or "I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up". I didn't know what to think of this. My husband has always been one of those happy go lucky kind of guys. Can crack a joke about almost anything. So when we had a fight that dreaded day, I never thought I would find him passed out in the car with vomit all over him. He had giving up, he had taken anything he could find and chased it with a 6 pack of beer. I wanted to drop to my knees, I wanted to give up right then with him. But, I knew I couldn't! We have 3 children to take care of, to be strong for, to live for. I then became angry, how could he? How dare he leave me alone? Then I heard it. My name, he was alive just out of it and needed to get emergency help right away. I pushed him over into the passenger seat as I yelled to our cousin to watch the boys. I drove him straight to local community hospital. Which thank god is less then a mile away. All the way there and into the door. I could him saying sorry, he had made a mistake. He didn't wanna leave me.

They were able to get him stable. They began to ask questions I couldn't answer. Yes, we had fought over money as the norm for most married couples. But it wasn't a rage kind of fight. Why did he try to take his life? the nurse asked. I don't know I answered. I didn't wanna be talking to them, I wanted to be next to his side. I wanted to know he was ok. I wanted to know I wouldn't have to do this alone without him.

Now I have to many questions I wanna ask him, to many feelings I wanna shout and I am growing tired.